This morning I watched the Oprah episode I blogged about on the 27th. Since that post I've begun to realize this hoarding/acquiring thing really is a problem for me. I buy way, way, way too much stuff from ebay. When I watched Oprah's hoarding episodes (2 episodes) this morning, there were many things the hoarding woman said which I could completely understand. I've been agonizing over this quite a bit not because my house is even remotely to the point of the woman's house on Oprah's show, but that I can completely understand how it happened to her. Ten years ago I would not have been able to fathom it. My psychological well-being has diminished in the past 10 years to a point that I am barely the same person. Now, how do I find my lost self? How do I remember who she was and how do I go about finding her again? I know there are many and varying emotional blows that have brought to the place I currently dwell. It's not like I need to dig to figure out what's caused my problems. I've never buried any of it and I'm over all of it, but I still have this obsession with acquiring. I'm not saying I intend to stop acquiring cool things for my art. Vintage finds give me great pleasure and creating art from those things brings even more. What I am saying is I haven't really made anything in months. Yes, I worked my fool tail off on my Easter swap, but that was an obligation. I haven't made anything for the sheer pleasure it brings in a very long time. My free time is devoted to searching for more stuff to cram in drawers. I've been looking for my tin type collection for over a year now. I, of course, have started another tin type collection, but I still can't find the original. I've cleaned out my entire studio twice and it still hasn't turned up. Now, get this, I've never made A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G from a tin type. Nada, zip, zilch. I have too much trouble parting with them.
With the tin type revelation we have a seed of understanding the problem. The joy of acquiring cool things should be nothing but an extension of the joy it gives to transform those finds. For those of you who acquire and actually use your acquisitions, you don't have my problems. When the woman on Oprah talked about the high she gets while shopping, finding and buying the bargains and how, when she comes home, she feels miserable about it. It made my cry. For her because I understand how someone could get to that place and for me because, although, I don't buy nearly the panoply of things she buys I still get a high knowing that John will be barreling down my drive with packages he can't fit into my rather huge mailbox. The thing is when I open all that stuff I often think, "now why did I buy this especially since I already have hundreds of the same thing" that I haven't used BTW. Not that I don't buy many things I love, and use, and share. I do and I don't want to stop getting cool vintage things to use in my art and share with my friends and sell in my etsy shop. What I want to do is take control of it all. I want to be discerning instead of reckless. I want to stop buying things with the idea of selling part of it and then deciding, when I receive it, that I really NEED to keep it all. Scroll down and look at all the vintage rhinestone jewelry I have. Go over to ebay and search "vintage rhinestone jewelry." It's gonna be a while before that well runs dry and that's just what's on ebay. I'm going to force myself to put some of my jewelry in my etsy shop. No matter how painful it may be.
Problem Part 2: After my big studio purge, I mounded a bunch of vintage trims I either don't really want or don't have room for on the dining room table. They have been there for the past two weeks.
A few other things on that table too. Those gold wicker type cup holders are now in the trash. The kids always lay their stuff around. My stuff didn't bother them at all they just put their stuff on top of mine. There were several stacks of vintage greeting cards on the table too. Still haven't found a place for those because I also have several more stacks in my studio. Hundreds and hundreds of those things not to mention postcards. I haven't even looked through them and I've had them for months. See.....ya think I have a problem?? I also put all my wallpaper scraps in tubs and put the tubs in the corner of the living room where they have been sitting for 2 weeks. My plan is to make scrap packs to sell cheap in my etsy shop.
Today I cleaned off the dining room table and took photos to sell that trim in 2 lots on ebay. PURGE. We even had dinner at the dining room table again. Works really nice for dinner. Almost like it was made for serving meals.
Getting the wallpaper ready for scrap packs will take a while, but I'm determined. Next, I'm going to move ahead with this home remodel. I'm going to stop being stifled by the overwhelming thought of all that will need to be done. I'm going to put one foot in front of the other continually until it's ready to paint. Then we will rip up the carpet and get the wood floors in. Then I can have SO MUCH FUN decorating. First, I've got to get everything purged. I'm doing good. Need to work on Jackson's room.
Here's a picture of the dumpster outside. I actually threw away some fabric and it was VERY HARD. You know those massive bags of fabric they sell in thrift stores? Well, I got out the few fabrics I wanted and turned to stone when I was faced with what to do with the rest of it. After watching those shows this morning I marched to the dumpster and threw it away. Then resisted the urge to fish it back out. Now, it's covered with lots of other things so it's GONE forever.
I promise it's a bigger pile than it looks like here. The next thing I've had a problem pitching is these tins I bought several years ago. Do you remember when these tins were all the rage??
There was a point when these things were impossible to find. A friend of mine had found a bunch of the Singer tins at Walmart and sent me 4 or 5 of them. So, tell me why in the world I bought 3 more of the plain white ones a couple of weeks later when I found them at a scrapbook store?? I've now had them for 3+ years. The really funny thing is I like the Singer tins much better. I was fully ready to keep the one remaining Singer tin because I intend to alter it and keep my own cards in it. While heading out the door to the dumpster with the white tins, I happened to see the bottom which revealed I had paid $5.50 each for them. BACK into the house they came where they still sit. I have no room for these things. I am going to try with every fiber of my being to throw them away tomorrow. I'm gonna do it.
Finally, I see from my comments and emails that I'm not the only one who felt like I was looking into a crystal ball while listening to that woman talk about her problem. I don't want to get to that place and I want to enjoy acquiring cool things for my art in a healthy way. I know we all do. Many of you girls don't have this problem and I know many of you do. Kari Ramstrom is a great example of one who runs her finds out as fast as she brings them in. She's a great example in this and so many other ways. She actually experiences the joy of creating prolifically with all her finds and lets go of the excess. Let me know where you stand on this. We are all devoted to a hobby that can bring great joy and growth, but it also lends itself to developing a problem with hoarding and acquiring. I noticed the woman on Oprah had at one time been a pretty serious crafter. I wasn't surprised by that. This is all about making a decision and following it through. Just like Peter Walsh advised, we must visualize what we want our lives to be and maintain limits to insure we have the quality of life we and our families deserve.
Since I put so many ugly photos in this post I thought I would leave you with something pretty. I love the little brown lines that run inside the negative space of the damask pattern while not running outside the pattern. Very nice.
I too have several things like this that I am tring to reduce. My clutter score is an 11 though, so perhaps I need the therapy even worse than you (HA)..... I think having kids who feel like my house is their storage building has added to my clutter score. I don't think it is just me (i hope at least)
Posted by: sherri | March 29, 2008 at 10:39 PM
I too have several things like this that I am tring to reduce. My clutter score is an 11 though, so perhaps I need the therapy even worse than you or perhaps there is group therapy for crafters(HA)..... I think having kids who feel like my house is their storage building has added to my clutter score. I don't think it is just me (i hope at least)
Posted by: sherri | March 29, 2008 at 10:42 PM
Well you and I have been talking about this daily. I am glad we have each other to be accountable to and take baby steps together. I can totally understand how you feel about throwing the stuff away. I have bins of fabric and some of it I don't even like but I CANNOT make myself throw it away. Its still good! But I don't want to and won't use it.. HELP! I need to pack it up and take it to the thrift store.. I know I won't sell it, its been here too long.
BTW, I think you should stuff those tins full of goodies and sell them, they are still good and someone will use them. I know where you live makes donating more difficult, but it kills me to see waste... sorry. Is that not supportive??
Posted by: Heather | March 30, 2008 at 12:33 AM
I didn't need to see that show (no cable anyway) to know I'm in the same boat. 12 years ago our house was so bad, we had to move! Had 10 yard sales, 1000s of trips to the dump, donated tons more, sold our furniture with the house and still had 13,000 pounds of stuff to move. When we moved, I said I'd never let it happen again. Hah. I'm in the process of doing that purging all over again because it's depressing to have all that stuff around.
Started small--one drawer at a time. Tackled bigger things when I had the time/energy. My studio is the worst--small and dense. It's an ongoing process. Biggest offender after the purge/reorganization is not putting things away on a daily basis. This is called equalizing by professional organizers.
You will get there, Donna. I've done it twice. BTW, I want to order from your Etsy shop but don't do Paypal. Contact me, please?
Posted by: candice | March 30, 2008 at 05:51 AM
Why not use those tins to make Jackson's teachers a end of school project Mil. I'll say what you always say to me, "don't overacheive it."
You have yourself in a paradox, being a champion of the vintage way of life and lover of all things vintage and old, sentimental about ledger pages and everything else, but wanting to use those things in expressing yourself in art.
I think you are fine just the way you are and don't think you need to kick youself too hard in the britches, just don't buy so much.
Maybe it's a matter of time management (the pot is now talking directly to the kettle on top of all my toes)and alotting yourself a certain amount of time on ebay and then stopping. Just stop it.
I love that Bob Newhart skit from Mad TV. Have you seen it? I'll link it to you because you would love it.
What you are today is waht is important, none of us are who we were ten years ago and it's a good thing. I love you just the way you are. Hoarsclumpadinka.
Posted by: Will | March 30, 2008 at 08:08 AM
Is there any chance you have a local freecycle group? Our town is not huge, but our freecycle group is!
And I love it. Set your stuff on the front porch, make a freecycle post and someone who needs it/wants it comes to your house and picks it up. No trips to the thrift and no huge piles of stuff in the trash. :-)
Posted by: Sarah | March 30, 2008 at 10:34 AM
Hi Donna! It's so satisfying to clean out and get some control over our stuff, isn't it? I often think of how interesting it is that although the actual acquiring of stuff is fun, just having it around isn't satisfying at all! As humans, myself included, we often try, in vain, to fill a spiritual or emotional hunger with physical stuff (food, art supplies, drugs, whatever.) Maybe there lies a deeper issue in your struggle? Did you know that the Bible says God created us with a spiritual hunger (or thirst), that only Jesus can satisfy (John 4:13). Therefore there's no point trying to relieve this thirst with anything else but Him. As it says in Isaiah 55, "why spend your money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?" I know this has been true in my own life which is why I'm sharing this with you. Perhaps this is part of what you are struggling with now?
Posted by: Jessica | March 30, 2008 at 10:35 AM
HI Donna good on you fofr having a go at clearing up some of your stuff. Sarahs idea of freecycle is great or just take a pile to the thrift store.
Have a great week and take it slowly to make sure you only get rid of what you won't use
Alison
Posted by: Alison Gibbs | March 30, 2008 at 12:10 PM
I know exactely how you a feel! I'm a pack rat! I get it from my Mom, who got ot from her parants that are chech. and were here for the depression!
I find it easiest to sort everything by color, someday I'll post pics of my studio to share the idea. As for my stuff. The things I don't want, i share with my scrapbook group, use for craft days with my toddler or list on freecycle, a group dedicated to keeping your stuff out of the
here is the link
http://www.freecycle.org/
they are associatted with yahoo groups, so you can easily find a group near you. Don't be scared away by the "rules" It's so easy to post offers or wanted items!
hope this helps!
Posted by: Michelle | March 30, 2008 at 12:44 PM
Hi Donna, I can relate to so much of what you have been posting about clutter. Like you, I have called a halt to additional vintage rhinestone purchases because I have enough to use in hundreds of art projects. Have you considered putting some of your "extra treasures" on eBay (I know you listed some fabric there) and donating a portion or maybe all the proceeds to a charity? eBay has the Mission Fish program and if you were donating the proceeds I think it would give you a great sense of satisfaction. You could even do this on etsy. If you have any questions or need help, feel free to contact me. I have a lot of experience in this kinda thing :).
Posted by: Kim | March 30, 2008 at 04:30 PM
Obviously your not alone, Donna! But don't kick yourself too hard. You have an amazing talent, remember that! Finding treasures and creating what you do says so much!
Here's an idea: Put yourself on a monthly budget for your vintage finds, when you've spent your budget, that's it! No more hunting & spending, instead head to your studio and start creating! It'll take some work/self control to keep yourself from spending (believe me), but it's worth a try! (We are going through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University right now, so I'm all about budgets!) ;)
Hey, give yourself a hug today! You need one! ;)
Hugs from me,
Shannon
Posted by: Shannon J | March 31, 2008 at 10:46 AM
Hi again Donna! I think this is a universal problem. I've been discussing this topic with friends and we have noticed that there is a flood of articles about clutter issues in the magazines, newspapers, on TV, etc. I believe it is a sign of the times. I am SO happy that you said you could relate to the hoarding woman on the Oprah show. My best friend could not. Well, maybe she doesn't have those tendencies, but I DO! And I am frightened if I let it go on any longer my house WILL look like hers! I have a difficult time parting with things, partially because I like them so much and partly because I spend good money for them and I find it wasteful to just get rid of it without even using it. The other problem I have is decision making. It is hard for me to decide what things to part with because I see everything as being equal. I know I am my own worst enemy because since I KNOW I have a problem parting with things, then I shouldn't bring them home in the first place. I've been working on this problem for years and don't seem to get anywhere. I'll be watching your progress and hopefully I will gain some inspiration and finally, once and for all, be able to successfully tackle my hoarding issues.
Hugs,
jeanne
Posted by: Jeanne | March 31, 2008 at 04:01 PM
Our schools- especially grade and middle love fabrics, trims , beads, even egg cartons for their art classes. Maybe you could donate to them. Good luck. Laura
Posted by: laura | April 01, 2008 at 06:24 AM
I so can relate! It seems many of my own Blog posts are about hunts for more vintage finds and few are about things I've created with them! A few years ago we lived in NYC and I worked a couple days a week in a needlepoint shop on the Upper East side. Just about every Sat. a gal came in and never left without spending at least a couple hundred dollars....and many times much much more. I asked her one day if she had started stitching the canvas she has purchased the week before and she said....Oh my dear, Dana, I don't care if I ever stitch the canvases I leave with each Saturday I just want to own them. I just looked at her at a loss for words.
Fast forward 13 years and I can relate each time I walk in the door with yet another cabinet card or handful of vintage clip earrings. I'm just as crazy as that Upper East Side Yenta!
Dana in VA
Posted by: danasmith | April 01, 2008 at 09:06 PM
OMG....Ohhhhhh you speaketh directly to me'th...I have soooo much to say on this subject but I'm just supposed to be browsing my fave blogs while trying to catch up on life and my blog....but I will be back...with much to say on this subject that has my name all over it....and lmao about the tins.soooo something I would have done!
Posted by: Karin (creativechaos) | April 03, 2008 at 08:32 PM
I think alot of us vintage collector girls can relate to this! I know I can- looking behind me now at the bomb site that it my loungeroom, I can't use the couch (piled with stuff to sell on ebay) or the reading chair (piled with paper packs for Etsy). I can't use the kitchen table (wrist cuffs in progress) and even the studio table has been buried in a mountain of scrap.
I didn't think it was that big a deal...I'm creative, I have a small house, I can do something with just about anything...excuse, excuse excuse. My clutter score is 13! Yikes.
The part I don't understand though is why throw it in a dumpster? Why can't all these things be given to the thrift shop?
I haven't read the whole Oprah rundown so hopefully that's the case, but it makes me even sadder to think that all that accumulation is going to landfill, when there are so many people who could use it. After all, one of the top reasons I use vintage is to save it from landfill.
I'll be purging this weekend, so ebay, etsy and the thrift will all benefit!
Posted by: Penny-Elizabeth | April 19, 2008 at 01:44 AM
I spun it up pretty finely because I wanted to try to use the Navajo Plying technique. For those who haven't tried it before, Navajo plying is a means of achieving a three ply yarn off a single bobbin by, in essence, working very long crochet chain stitches. It takes a touch of coordination, but with a little practice, it's actually quite fun. I started with some scrap yarn I had and got the motion down, before trying it with my new singles.
Posted by: Scrap Gold Prices | April 20, 2008 at 02:47 PM
I used to come here all the time and somehow lost you! I've added you to my google reader now. I'm glad to be back here and feel your pain on this issue. That lady's house is ALWAYS in the back of my head. I wonder if my family is secretly whispering about me.....I even sometime LIE a little about when I've visited a thrift store!
Posted by: Robin~Thrifty Miss Priss | April 27, 2008 at 07:58 PM